Week 2 Recap

This Week's Recap is brought to you by the Alcoholic Anonymous of America. Our Motto: "Getting drunk is pretty sweet, until you look like an asshole."

The Recap is also brought you by TrojanENZ condoms, because even apparently jerks still get laid.

or do they?

Football Sunday Week 2

Out of the gates, great football came a day early, as college football fans gathered from far and wide to see an amazing site, with over 7 games involving ranked oppoenents the teamsters knew that "the polls, they were a'changin." Hardwork and desire were realized by Louisville, Oregon, and West Virginia; while dreams were smashed in Southbend, Norman, and Knoxville.

Football Sunday started early this week with a big divisional game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles. Though the Eagles controlled the ball and the tempo for over 3 quarters of the game, the Giants proved victorious in Overtime.

When asked to comment on the Giants victory, Tom Caughlin replied, "What can I say, we suck, we shouldn't have won. We really couldn't do much, until those fans in Vienna decided to occupy the penalty box...Too bad they had to destroy that thing - talk about a couple of assholes. Those fans at Ware St. really had a great center piece to their bar."

With temperment waning, and the idiocy confined, Football Sunday inched forward.

The Afternoon games were more of a distant background noise, like the soundtrack to really bad fraternity movie.

Then came the heavy drinking.

As the debauchery circled to a close. The remaining attendees found themselves face to face with what would turn out to be a blow out. No matter how bad the Cowboys looked on the field, the Redskins found a way to suck even harder. In the end few went home sober, and nobody went home happy.

This weeks awards:

The "Vince Lombardi You Are Not" Award:

To Peter Stickle for failing to abide Vince Lombardi's golden rule: "If you truly care about something you won't be on time, you'll be 15 minutes early."

The Dean Wormer Award:

He may not have "[Took] the bar, the whole f&#@*ng bar," but we still thank Rick Fromberg for single handedly destroying the penalty box.

The Forrest Gump Award:

Keep running Tom, keep running.

The Betty Crocker Award:

Hey Emeril, how about another weekend of Pizza Nuggets. (sarcasm intended)

The Betty Ford Award:

You guys have issues, and that's what I dig about you!

The G. Garvin Award:

This Weeks G. Garvin Award goes to Jason Buckley for "bringing down the house" with his kicking chicken and firehouse waffles. Bucktown, you my friend deserve a plate of greens, two pickled eggs, and a round of applause.

All other Awards have been suspended until further notice.

(Certain photos have been recycled for this weeks recap as this Football Sunday Staff Writer was unable to posthumously procure Ansel Adams.)

I hope you guys dug the update, if you didn't blame either Alcohol or Mono.