Tales from a Bell Boy

A new section to Football Sunday; see life and sports through eyes of Buddy the Bell Boy

Working upscale hotels in the greater D.C. area, one tends to run into an interesting mix of celebrities, athletes, and even dignitaries. A few years back, one such instance involved a national broadcaster and his nocturnal habits. Submitted for the approval of the Football Sunday Editorial Staff, I call this story, “One Night in Dulles.”

The shift began as any other, it was a week night, but due to the weather, a handful of planes were delayed. Our proximity to Dulles International Airport generally brought in a lot of business travelers. I had a feeling that today would be no different.

The rain poured like a faucet and I had a heck of a time keeping the bell stand serviceable. Rain is a funny thing, it seems to suck the joy and tip money out of hotel guests.

As my shift droned on, I got a call from the manager on duty. In the hotel biz we call him, or in this case her, the MOD. She said that a large account had just made reservations for the evening, to include a few former athletes and television personalities. ESPN - I knew this could be a crazy night.

Some time later the hotel bar, packed with hotel guest and lecherous professionals, became a stomping ground for our B list celebrity tenants. The adjoining hallway was filled with wacky quips and urbanized one-liners. I walked past the bar on my way to the bell stand only to be absconded by a rather rude, rather short black man. Of note were his big and tall, sultan-esque suit jacket and a lazy eye. During our interaction he spoke highly of the Dwayne Wade and places of ill repute by shouting, “Kid can straight ball,” “Playa Please,” and “Can I get a whoop-whoop.” Although his demeanor was a bit unsettling and his verbiage was quite dated, I could tell this lush was primed for something treacherous. So I implored our bartender to keep his glass full.

At the end of the evening my friend, the popular sports anchor, was seen stumbling up to his room with a female escort. Although his name was not verified, and reports are hazy, it is of note that many guests on his floor complained about loud noises, giggling, and an incessant use of the terms “Boo-Yah!” and “There it is!”